Is this just anger, or already aggression and violence?

Anger is an emotion that makes us become active, either to change something or to set our limits. There is nothing wrong or bad about anger and we can all feel it. Sometimes the energy may be so much that you want to break something.

When is it aggression or violence? When do I need help?

It is important to seek help when anger gets out of control. When you can hardly find a way to control your reactions. For example, you throw objects, hit the wall, or attack people around you verbally or physically. Then the anger develops into aggression and violence against others. That’s a red line.

That form of anger is unpleasant and dangerous for the people around you; it can also be harmful to your health. Most of the time your blood pressure increases, and your heart starts beating faster. If this condition lasts too long or comes back too often, it can put a strain on your heart and circulation in the long run. Therefore, you should do something about strong outbursts of anger, violent behaviour and aggression out of self-interest.

What can help?

I advise my clients to do regular breathing exercises. Don't worry, nobody must sit on a meditation cushion for hours. However, it is helpful just to take a conscious breath into your belly from time to time during the day. Abdominal breathing is generally a form of breathing that calms us down. When the anger, stress, or aggression is there, we may feel danger and our brains go into the fight reflex. Now it can be very helpful to breathe consciously into the belly. The oxygen we gain from these supplies our brain better, and we can better assess how dangerous the situation really is. The sooner we become aware that our nervous system is reporting danger to us, the better our fight reflex can be controlled.

In general, of course, we are all different, so for some, exercise helps because it generally gives them a controlled outlet to get rid of too much energy. Some also find it helpful to have a ball in their hand, which they can then knead when they feel the aggression coming on. It is important to develop your own method here.

Why do the aggressions come up in me like this?

In order to get anger under control, it is important to research the causes. In some cases, we have copied the behaviour. In other cases, it can be that deeper emotions lie underneath, which may only find expression in extreme situations. Therapy sessions will provide the necessary professional help to find out and understand the underlying patterns. I am gladly there for you, if you need support.

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