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Balance your future

Thoughts and reflections from my experience and from relevant literature. I hope you find it useful.

About relationships

Does the perfect soulmate exist?

It would be wonderful if there is someone who could just read your mind and would always be there for you just by sensing your needs. Of course there are people where we feel, that we have more in common with them than others. However the fact that there will be the perfect match for me somewhere in the world is not very likely. Of course the whole idea stated with the wish, - it would be perfect if someone could read my mind and always know what I need. Or if he/she really loves me, he/she would know what I need.However this of all-round carefree package ended after we were born. After that event we had to learn to communicate and care for our own needs.

Sometimes it is not easy to ask another person for help/support or just a hug. No one in the world does know better what is good for you than yourself. The good thing is, we can learn how to care better for ourselves and learn more about how to communicate in a more direct way with our partner. This leads to a more satisfied life in more satisfied relationship.

What is an indicator that you are leading a healthy relationship?

First of all, all couples fight! It is normal to get into an argument because we are all different people with different experiences and different views of life. There is nothing wrong with people getting into an argument. The indicator for a healthy relationship is that the two individuals get together later and can talk about their different views without hurting each other.


Human beings are wired to live in close relationships with a save and close connection. Recent research shows, our brain sends out the hormone Oxytocin (cuddle hormone) as a reward when we feel well connected to someone we make love.

However when our relationship does not feel save and our partner is critical all the time, one starts to feel lonely and rejected (some reported feeling like a failure or loser) I worked with lot of couples and all of them reported that loneliness is the biggest issue to deal with in the relationship.

When there is a tense situation in the relationship over a long period of time and there are only arguments and then you meet a nice person, who smiles at you, is friendly and offers you a coffee, it feels good to spend more time with this person. Research and my own experience showed, cheating develops more out of loneliness then out of affection and desire or lust.lust.