Thoughts and reflections from my experience and from relevant literature. I hope you find it useful.
I recently wrote an article about violence and aggression and how they can negatively affect one's own life and also the life of our fellow human beings. Accumulated anger, powerlessness and fear can turn into aggression and destruction, which can bring suffering. So, understandably, anger does not have such a good reputation in our society.
Anger is, however, an important impulse in our system, which needs to be understood and read correctly. In our society it is considered not okay to be angry. Even young children are told not to show anger. Or are disapproved of when they are angry. Sentences like “Go to your room and don't come out until you have cooled down” are heard again and again.
Moreover, anger is a sign, that some circumstances in our surrounding are not okay for us. Of course, as adults we must guide and accompany our children to find their way in society. It is also clear that not all our wishes can always be fulfilled. However, many of us have learned to suppress or ignore anger. Sometimes there was no room for our needs, or our parents didn't know how to deal with it when we were angry. However, the feeling is there, and if constantly ignored, it can lead to violent impulses towards others, against us, or to health problems like depression. Sup-pressed feelings are not helpful and make us sick in the long run. Tense shoulders and jaws are just one symptom.
Anger is a signal to us that something doesn't feel good or right to us. It usually also has a great en-ergy charge that motivates us to act. It is helpful to use it to find another way out of the unpleasant situation we are in. It is therefore necessary to recognize anger and accept it as a "normal" feeling. Unlike a depressive feeling, which arises from helplessness and hopelessness, anger does not give up and enables us to stand up for our interests and needs. Therefore, we should learn "again" to perceive and examine our anger properly. What does not feel right? Can I change something? Which steps are going into the right direction? It is therefore helpful to understand anger as a thought-provoking or inspirational impulse. How much anger do I need to finally move into action?
If you want to find a way to better perceive and understand your anger and to find the right impulse for you, I am glad to support you as an expert.